The Sliver Problem
6 Ways to Solve Recurring Team Conflicts That Never Go Away
That buried issue isn't going away on its own—time to extract it
Are you tired of circular conversations—you know, the ones that take a dive at the issue at hand but never quite solve it? It's like having a sliver: you can grab the top part, but the real source of pain is buried deep beneath the surface.
I see this constantly with the teams we work with. The hard part? People are being polite. They don't have an effective way to address the real issue because it involves some sort of conflict. And perhaps most importantly, they lack the language they need to express it appropriately.
If you're trying to work through a sliver issue like this, the roots of the problem need to be exposed. And like with our sliver analogy, the area around it will be raw. But with caution and care, it can be extracted, and the wound can heal properly this time.
6 Ways to Unearth That Sliver Issue
1. Ask People to DEFINE the Problem (Not the Symptom)
Often, misattribution of issues comes down to the action of a person or team, when that person or team is doing exactly what they were asked to do. The action isn't the problem—it's a symptom.
Try this: Have each person write down what they believe the problem is. You'll quickly see where people are pointing at behaviors versus pointing at the underlying issue. If someone says "Marketing is too slow," dig deeper. What's actually being impacted? Deadlines? Revenue? Customer experience?
2. Use "I Need" Statements to Uncover the Real Pain
"You don't communicate" is an accusation. "I need visibility into project timelines two weeks in advance so I can staff appropriately" is a need. See the difference?
When people shift from blame to articulating their actual needs, the conversation transforms. You're no longer defending actions—you're solving for requirements.
3. Follow the Root Further: What's the Underlying Process Constraint?
Now we're getting to the real sliver. What systemic element is driving this issue? Is it:
Time (impossible deadlines, competing priorities)
Money (budget constraints forcing workarounds)
Information (decisions being made without key data)
Authority (unclear ownership or decision rights)
Capacity (too much work, too few people)
The answer is rarely "people are bad at their jobs." It's almost always a process, resource, or structural issue.
4. Map Out the Goals and Values of Each Team
Here's where it gets interesting. Create a simple 2x2 matrix with each team's goal on an axis.
[Visual: 2x2 Matrix]
Team B Goal Met
↑
Team B Wins, | IDEAL STATE
Team A Loses | (Both goals met)
_____________________|_____________________
|
PROBLEM STATE | Team A Wins,
(Neither goal met) | Team B Loses
← |
Team A Goal Met →Most teams are stuck in the bottom left quadrant—the sliver zone where neither team is fully achieving their goals. That's why the conversation keeps circling back.
The top left and bottom right? Those are false victories. One team "wins" by forcing the other to compromise. Sales gets their speed, but Legal is drowning in risk. Or Legal gets their thoroughness, but Sales misses their targets.
The top right quadrant? That's where you need to be. That's the ideal state where both teams' goals are met. And here's the key insight: you can't get there by accident. You have to intentionally design for it.
This visual makes the conflict immediately obvious—and more importantly, it shows there's a real solution to aim for, not just a compromise where everyone loses a little.
5. Define the Lowest Common Goal
This is your North Star. What goal sits above both teams that they both serve?
For Sales and Legal, it might be "sustainable revenue growth with acceptable risk." For Product and Operations, it might be "reliable innovation that serves customers."
When you identify this shared goal, you can help both teams see how their actions either support or undermine it. Suddenly, you're not arguing about who's right—you're problem-solving toward a shared outcome.
6. Define an Ideal State of Work from Both Perspectives
Ask each team: "If you could design the perfect process—one where you can fully achieve your goals and the other team can achieve theirs—what would it look like?"
This exercise does two things:
It forces people to consider the other team's constraints
It generates creative solutions that a defensive conversation never would
You'll be surprised how often teams can design their own solution when they're given permission to think beyond the current broken process.
Why We Use LEGO Bricks to Solve Sliver Problems
Here's the thing about buried issues: they're emotionally charged. People get defensive. Language fails us. Meetings devolve into finger-pointing or worse—polite nodding with no real resolution.
That's why we use LEGO Serious Play in our facilitation work.
When you externalize the problem—literally building it with your hands—something shifts. You're no longer defending yourself; you're explaining a model. The conversation becomes about the thing on the table, not the person across from you. It creates psychological safety to name the real issues without making it personal.
We've used this method to help teams:
Identify bottlenecks they couldn't articulate in words
Surface power dynamics and unspoken rules
Design ideal-state processes collaboratively
Build shared understanding across siloed teams
The sliver gets exposed. The wound gets cleaned. The team heals.
Ready to stop having the same circular conversation?
If your team keeps bumping into the same issues without resolution, it's time to try a different approach. Let's unearth that sliver together. Contact us, we’re in NYC!
